sarah. word.

SIP SMART!

Alright tea aficionados, tea novices, and tea-curious folk,

You're in luck, because I'm the proud new owner of my VERY OWN signature green tea blend at Adagio Teas called "Sip Smart"! This is absolutely one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me. My very own tea! And trust me, it's delicious. Adagio is the real deal and their stuff is top shelf. Two cups of "Sip Smart" in place of your regular cup of joe and you'll be on FIRE, I guarantee you. It's caffeinated, but a lot more hydrating than coffee. Plus, you can enjoy more of it without getting jittery or sour in the tummy.

If you're looking for a healthy way to kick-start your day or combat your afternoon slump, I think you'll really love this tea blend (my custom mixture of green pekoe, hojicha, and mighty rooibos leaves). If you've never prepared loose leaf tea before, all you need is hot water and a strainer. I love Adagio's all-in-one infuser, "IngenuiTea" and recommend it highly. Soak a pinch of leaves for 3-5 minutes, and enjoy. That's it!

The entire popSiren team made their own blends too, so between the five of us, you're totally, 100% covered. Oh, and I'm looking to trounce Corbin in the stats, lest you think that this is all in good, clean fun. You know me better than that, don't you? I want to drink, I want to win, and I want you! Spread the good word, and SIP SMART!

Food For Thought

I read tons of blogs every day. Many of my current favorites I've stumbled across accidentally, such as Mihow.com. I don't know the woman who created it, but she's a fellow cat lover, has an insanely cute baby, and writes really well. I feel like reading her stories for the past six months has enabled me to know her intimately enough that she and I could have coffee and enjoy ourselves. That's more than I can say for most of the strangers I cross paths with every day.

Mihow (AKA Michelle) recently linked to a provoking New York Times article about knowing the animals we eat that I think you should read. Even though I'm a pescetarian with vegan aspirations, I try not to judge anyone else's eating choices. After all, I read dlisted.com almost every day, which is arguably more damaging to my body than rBST. I also have a lot of leather shoes. But I do think that if we were all more actively involved in the process of putting meat on the dinner table or on our bodies, we'd be weighing our ethical decisions more often. Just something to think about.

And just like that, my head exploded

Thanks to an anonymous emailer, I no longer have to live in fear of Newman-O's: Snack of the Gods. Things are looking up, my friends. Things are looking up.

Real Genius

Apparently, when you cut wheat out of your diet, you have to think about it all the time. Because as soon as you stop thinking about it, YOU WILL EAT WHEAT. It's in everything, including the soy sauce at the sushi restaurant I went to in order to not eat wheat. It's also in beer, which would seem self-explanatory but I let's just say I can be a little slow on the uptake when it involves not drinking a pint of pale ale. Wheat is also in Newman-O's: Snack of the Gods, which I already knew, except that the other day when I got to work around 8:30 a.m. I was technically still asleep and not thinking coherently, so when I noticed that someone had left a half-eaten bag of Newman-O's on my desk I started shoveling them into my mouth as quickly as possible before they were taken away from me. That's what I do in the morning. I shovel wheat. While sleepwalking. At work. And it took not eating wheat for me to realize that I had a problem.

Suffice it to say that my wheat-free experiment has been aborted due to lack of information and self-control, and will not be revisited until further research is conducted. And by conducting research I mean bathing in walnut sourdough bread with two sticks of butter and a Guinness.

Not to Mention Newman-O's, Snack of the Gods

In an effort to pinpoint why I'm so itchy and low-energy lately, I'm embarking on a crusade against wheat. That's right, no wheat for two weeks, because according to what I've read on the internet, consuming wheat and skin allergies go hand in hand for a lot of folks.

If that doesn't prove helpful, I'm going to cut out all gluten (which is found in almost everything, including the wheat-free rye bread I bought at Whole Foods yesterday). At which point I'm going to cry and cry, because as I see it, life isn't worth living unless you can devour a pot of angel hair pasta in bed during reruns of The Sopranos on A&E.

If I come up empty at the end of those four weeks, I'm going to be out of ideas, and probably very bitter.

Oh, and this experiment will not go into effect until after Thursday evening. I mean come on, I'm already a vegetarian. Without stuffing and pumpkin pie, it would be a dark day indeed.

Colon Watch 2007

Things I've eaten post-Master Cleanse this week, in order of appearance:

• A small reservoir's worth of diluted orange juice
• 2 ruby red grapefruits
• 1 apple
• 2 fruit smoothies (1 banana, scoop of blueberries, scoop of raspberries, splash of soy milk)
• 1 nectarine
• 2 tomatoes
• 7 spoonfuls of crunchy almond butter
• 1 large bowl of shrimp wonton soup with rice noodles
• 1 Amy's cheddar cheese burrito
• 4 pieces of Neuhaus dark chocolates

I probably dove back into the hard stuff a bit soon, but what the hey. Life is short.

The Master Cleanse: Day Ten

It's over!
It's over!
It's over!

I'm tres excited to be easing back into the land of the eating tomorrow morning. Even if it's just juice and veggie broth, it's a start. The Master Cleanse fast has been an interesting journey, but I'm ready to be normal again.

I lost about six pounds over the last ten days. That's not much compared to many people, who, depending on their starting weight, claim to lose 20 or 30 lbs in the same amount of time. I like to think it's because I ate pretty healthily to begin with and didn't need to shed as much. Who knows? Everybody's different. I fully expect to gain back the weight as I'll be returning to my former pescetarian diet (hello, sushi!). For the record, my itchy skin is thriving as if nothing happened, so it's either not a food allergy, or I'm also allergic to lemons, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, or a combination of all three.

I will honestly say that I never experienced euphoria at any point during the cleanse. I either felt fine or not fine, but I never felt excellent. Even though the hunger went away after a few days, the psychological yearning for food never did, and that was pretty unpleasant at times. I've read a lot of accounts of people feeling "amazing" from fasting. I wish I could say the same, but there's no point in embellishing. For me, it was more of a mind-over-matter challenge, and I'm glad I didn't give up.

Fasting enthusiasts argue that it may take upwards of 20 days to achieve that "fully cleansed" aura, but I'm not willing to wait it out. Ten days is plenty. If it hasn't passed through by now, it probably doesn't exist. And anyway, I really must be getting back to my cheese and crackers. 

Oh, and I appreciate all the encouragment and feedback. Really. It was fun to share this experience with all of you, and knowing that you were cheering me on (or ridiculing me, whatever) really did keep me from quitting a few times. So, thanks. I'll go ahead and step off the podium now.

The Master Cleanse: Day Nine

Today was a-ok. I took another yoga class and came out feeling like a million bucks. I'm also ecstatic that tomorrow's my final fast day! I've gotten pretty used to my routine, and while it's been nice not having to spend any food or drink-related money, I'm ready for this experience to be over.

For those of you wondering what I'm going to eat first, the answer's rather anti-climactic: orange juice. Yes, I have to ease myself back into regular food slowly, starting with OJ, vegetable broth, and then salads and assorted fruits and veggies over the course of a few days. Supposedly I've turned my stomach into a delicate flower that will reject anything else I try to feed it immediately post-fast. But if I had my way and could eat absolutely anything I wanted, I'd probably go for a tuna melt. With extra cheese. Something to look forward to next week, I suppose.

The Master Cleanse: Day Eight

Ok, yesterday was obviously a bad day. Today is better.

A big part of my mood has to do with the time of day, which always starts out well. I wake up at 6 a.m., do my bathroom-salt water flush-bathroom dance for at least an hour, mix and measure out six servings of lemonade, get ready for work, and so on. I'm too busy to care that I'm not eating a greek omelette. Well, almost too busy. Greek omelettes are pretty fabulous.

During the day, I'm fine between my lemonade and plain water for a good eight hours. However, around 6 p.m. liquid fatigue sets in and I start getting antsy. My mind wanders through dessert menus (and always rests on the chocolate cheesecake). Getting through the next few traditional dinner hours are the worst. I really like to cook, and I feel pointless sitting around not making anything. My bad mood reaches a crescendo around 8 p.m. and in an effort to stay busy rather than undress a package of Annie's Mac 'n Cheese with my eyes, I usually write these updates. So, yeah.

Today really is better, though. I went to my first yoga class since starting the cleanse, which was a very good call. Not only did it feel great physically, but I think all that breathing and stretching helped melt away some of my negativity. I got a little weak at times during the class, but at no point did I feel like I couldn't handle it. Probably should have been doing yoga from the beginning.

Last night, I seriously contemplated throwing in the towel early. But today's a new day, and I'm pushing on. I'm so close.

The Master Cleanse: Day Seven

I'm sick of this cleanse. I want to eat. I want to chew and swallow. I want pasta. Beans. Cheese and crackers. Hell, I miss food so much I'd consider a piece of turkey. Whatever breakthrough I made early in the week seems to be receding, and fast. What's wrong with me?

The last two days I've had bouts of heartburn, presumably from all the cayenne pepper. I know Master Cleanse believers will tell me that it's just my body expelling toxins, but I'm not so sure. What if I'm just frying my organs? My itchy skin certainly isn't clearing up. And I don't know why I'm the only person who isn't "eliminating" solids, but that hasn't happened since I stopped eating seven days ago. I keep waiting for a big payoff, but I'm starting to think there isn't one.

I really don't want to quit, but I definitely don't want to feel this way for three more days. Sigh.

PS- Patty noted in the comments that someone must be posing as me again, since I said a long time ago that I wouldn't post in the comments anymore. Patty's right, I did say that. But I've changed my mind. I like being part of the conversation.