sarah. word.

No Country For Old Me

I'm not gonna lie... I thought it was good, but I didn't think it was that good. It's always disappointing when you really want to love a movie, and you expect to really love the movie because all your friends tell you how amazing it is and the entire world says it's a shoo-in for Best Picture, and then you finally watch it and when the credits start rolling you're forced to admit that it wasn't quite all you hoped it would be. I'll be rooting for "There Will Be Blood" on Sunday evening.

Blogger OD's on Popcorn, Checks Into Promises Rehab

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - I caught myself composing a mental grocery list during this incredibly long and convoluted movie. But you really can't blame me - Johnny Depp is barely even in it and that's the only reason I was there. Instead, countless plot twists that no sane person can follow are hurled at the audience every five seconds for pretty much no reason other than to detract us slightly from Keira Knightly's inflated upper lip. And that doesn't even work.

Black Book - Surprisingly entertaining. WWII thriller about a Jewish woman who loses her family, goes undercover for the Dutch Resistance, seduces a high-ranking Nazi officer, and lots of other things I won't go into in case you actually want to see the movie without me ruining it. Carice van Houten, who I'd never heard of before, is adorable and gives an amazing performance. Director Paul Verhoeven (of "Basic Instinct" and "Showgirls" fame) clearly knows how to titillate an audience. Don't bring the kids.

Spider-Man 3 - The Emo Peter Parker twist is so painful it's funny. It was like watching a joke movie half the time. I'm pretty sure people were high when they shot this film. You could cut twelve hours out and not lose any important plot lines. That said, it wasn't so terrible. I thought Spider-Man fans were a little generous with the first two movies anyway.

Girl on Film

When you're unemployed, you tend to go to the movies a lot. Why? Because it's 3 p.m. on Tuesday and you're in the mother effing MOOD, that's why! I wonder if I could subsist solely on theater popcorn? For what it's worth, I never add butter.

In a nutshell:

The Lives of Others - Excellent! Sort of a German Communist political dissonance love story/tragedy. I know my description sucks. Starts slow, but you'll be glad you stuck with it.

The Namesake - Pretty good! Illustrates the emotional complexities within an NRI (non-resident Indian) family living in the States.

Hot Fuzz - Not that funny! It's too bad, because I had really high hopes. Maybe too high. The movie has its moments, but ultimately it's a disappointment.

Blades of Glory - Funny enough! But still really dumb. But still funny enough to not make you want your money back. I mean, it's ice skating. And ice skating is funny.

V for Victory

As my moblog indicates, over the weekend I was in New York for a sneak preview of "V for Vendetta," the new comic-inspired flick written and produced by the "famous-for-a-few-bizarre-reasons-but-mostly-for-the-Matrix-movies" Wachowski brothers. And I'm thrilled to report that I absolutely loved it! Totally rocked. Great flick. There was a time where I'd have written a really long explanation of why I loved it, but this is not one of those times.

The film opens on March 17th and I hope you all have a chance to see it between Irish car bombs. Until then, you'll have to settle for the trailers and my brilliant opinion.

As we march forward into March (!!!!!), I hope you're all enjoying yourselves, hugging your pets, and saying nice things to the people you love. Oscars this Sunday!

PS- IRL, Natalie Portman makes me look like a cow. She may actually be world's first real pixie. A ridiculously cute one at that.

Celluloid Lane: Sin City

My, my. Where do I begin?

I've had unreasonably high hopes for "Sin City" ever since I watched that fabulous trailer. But it's not like graphic novels-turned-movies have impeccable track records on the big screen, so imagine my concern going into this.

For lack of a more eloquent explanation, "Sin City" freaking rules.

Remember the first time you saw "Pulp Fiction"? You were unnerved and at times downright repelled, but you admitted that it was the freshest, most original thing to be put into a theater since... ever, and you couldn't wait to talk about how amazing it was with everyone you knew? "Sin City" is kind of like that.

**UPDATE**

So I'm having a hard time explaining this movie, because it's exactly like reading a Frank Miller graphic novel panel by panel, except that the images move. So let's do Q&A instead.

1. Is "Sin City" a family movie?
- Heavens no. It's incredibly graphic and gruesome. I know YOU'RE into that, but don't bring the kids.

2. What's the plot all about?
- It's complicated. But if you're familiar with Frank Miller, "Sin City" the movie primarily reinacts 3 of his original stories: "The Hard Goodbye", "The Big Fat Kill", and "That Yellow Bastard".

3. Can I expect a love story?
- Yes.

4. Can I expect nudity?
- Yes.

5. Can I expect to laugh?
- Yes, although you might feel inappropriate when you do.

6. Does the all-star cast detract from the story at all?
- Refreshingly, no. No one character is the main star, it's more like a bunch of supporting roles. Great supporting roles. These actors are stoked.

7. I hear Robert Rodriguez directed "Sin City". What's his deal?
- Robert Rodriguez is a well-respected force in Hollywood (El Mariachi, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Spy Kids), but Frank Miller co-directed the project from start to finish. The collaboration kept the story eerily true to the comic. Quentin Tarantino guest directed as well.

8. Are we talking CG animation or live action?
- Almost all the live action was done with green screens and props, then the magic was painted in later. It's amazing.

9. But I'm not into comic books.
- I'm not either. It doesn't matter. This is cinematic history.

10. I was pleased to see lots of hot chicks in the trailer. Can I expect more of that?
- You sure can, my friend! But they'll also chop your head off. Literally.

Celluloid Lane: Constantine

Well, Keanu's acting is as wooden as the movie is long, but I still loved it! Three cheers for Constantine! I'll write a proper review soon, but for now, you can totally ignore the Oscar noms and still have a good flick to look forward to.

Brush up on your Catholicism beforehand. It'll come in handy.

The Golden Globes... Live at sarah.word.

8:03 pm- Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture- Clive Owen? CLIVE OWEN? Ok people, this is a crappy way to start the show. You're telling me Clive in "Closer" beats Thomas Hayden Church in "Sideways"? Did the Hollywood Foreign Press actually watch "Closer"? Because I did. And I demand a recount!

8:06 pm- Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture- Ok, I realize Natalie Portman is pretty much the cutest thing any of us have seen in the last 10 years, but... again with the "Closer". Sigh. Ok fine, she kind of deserved it. And her dress is fabulous.

COMMERCIAL/VINO BREAK...

8:12 pm- Best Supporting Actress in a Series/Miniseries/Etc - Anjelica Huston. Sure, she's good.

8:14 pm- Best Supporting Actor in a Series/Miniseries/Etc - And the award goes to... Caption Kirk! Er, William Shatner. Let's just hope he sticks to acting. Has anyone seen him perform in that weird band?

COMMERICAL BREAK (I have a feeling I'll be sorry I decided to break up the show this way)

8:20 pm- Diane Lane presenting a clip from "Kinsey", one of the night's nominated dramas. I support any actress with my last name.

8:22 pm- Jim Carrey introduces the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Hi, Lorenzo. Please hurry your speech along. I'm on a timeline. Oh wait, now we're going to a taped clip of Bill Clinton thanking Hollywood for the Tsunami effort. He says to go to clintonfoundation.org to find out how to help more. Actually, I think I will.

8:25 pm- Best Actress in a TV Drama Series- Mariska Hargitay for "Law & Order: SVU", which I've never seen. There are just TOO MANY Law & Orders. Sorry Miss H.

8:29 pm- Best Actor in a TV Drama Series- Ian McShane for "Deadwood". Mmm, I saw an episode or two. Filthy mouths, those cowboys.

MORE ADS FOR BAD PRODUCTS

8:39 pm- Meryl Streep presents... Best Miniseries or Motion Picture for TV- "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers". Speaking of Pete, did anyone see the movie "Being There"? Freakishly good.

8:42 pm- Best Actor in a Comedy Series- Jason Bateman! And you thought he'd never go farther than "The Hogan Family." Which was once called "Valerie's Family". Which was once called "Valerie".

COMMERCIALS.. INCLUDING THAT HORRENDOUS NEW MCDONALD'S COMMERCIAL WHERE THAT GIRL TALKS POETICALLY ABOUT SALADS.

8:49 pm- Halle Berry shows us a clip of "Finding Neverland", also up for Best Pic. I really loved this movie. Johnny Depp can do no wrong.

8:51 PM- Will Ferrell is wearing an eye patch. Just thought I'd share. Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy - Annette Bening. She sure has presence, doesn't she?

8:56- Best TV Series Drama- "Nip/Tuck". I've heard good things. Anyone? Nip/Tuck? Worthwhile?

MORE COMMERCIALS.... I'M OFF TO THE STORE FOR SOMETHING CHOCOLATELY....

...BACK FROM STORE WITH HAAGEN DAAZ ROCKY ROAD (THE BEST ROCKY ROAD ON THE PLANET)

9:14 pm- Ok, what'd I miss? Ok, Glenn Close wins for Best Actress in a TV Miniseries. I realize this is completely unfair and in the past, but I'm still angry at her for boiling that rabbit.

WHO ELSE IS TIRED OF THE CARL'S JR. COMMERCIALS? GUYS, TELL ME YOU CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH THIS HEINOUS MARKETING NONSENSE.

9:27 pm- "The Sea Inside" wins for Best Foreign Language Film. Which I haven't seen, but it better be good if it beat "A Very Long Engagement"!!!

COMMERCIAL... BACK TO MY ICE CREAM...

9:34 pm- Best Screenplay (if Eternal Sunshine doesn't win I'll boycott the rest of this show) ...... "Sideways". While I really, really enjoyed "Sideways", I think "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is far, far more worthy. Still deciding whether to boycott. Very angry.

9:37 pm- Best Actress in a TV Comedy- Teri Hatcher, "Desperate Housewives", the show that bores me.

GREAT DR. PEPPER COMMERCIAL FEATURING THAT SONG BY MEATLOAF! YOU KNOW WHICH ONE I MEAN.

9:45 pm- Clip of "Hotel Rwanda", nominee for Best Pic. Man, that looks good... and heavy.

9:46 pm- OMG! What are Usher and Lisa Marie Presley doing on stage? Oh, riiiiiiiight, it's the award for Best Original Score. How clever. Just like Usher's indoor sunglasses. Wait, who won? Ah yes. "The Aviator". I loved that movie.

9:48 pm- Best Original Song (also presented by the musically challenged duo from previous entry) - "Old Habits Die Hard" from the film "Alfie", performed by Mick Jagger? Er, yeah. Never heard of it. But I do love Mick.

COMMERCIAL BREAK.. I'VE NOW EATEN HALF A PINT OF ROCKY ROAD AND FEEL LIKE I MIGHT DIE....

9:57 pm- Prince is onstage, wearing pink and black. Somehow it works. Clip from "Ray".

9:59 pm- Best Director, Motion Picture - Clint Eastwood! Who else thinks "Million Dollar Baby" is going to sweep the Oscars? Hey, he even got a standing O.

10:02 pm- Diane Keaton's outfit is.... is.... scary.

10:02 pm- Best Actor in a Motion Pic, Comedy or Musical- Jamie Foxx. I feel sorry for Paul Giamatti, because any other year and it would have been him. But "Ray" had it in the bag.

Jamie Foxx's speech just made me cry.

I JUST SAW AN AD FOR THE NEW "APPRENTICE". HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? 

SUGAR HEADACHE SLOWING RECEDING. SWEARING OFF CHOCOLATE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

10:13 pm- Pierce Brosnan is honoring Robin Williams with the Cecil B. DeMille Award. If you're watching, you're getting a wonderful look back at RW's outstanding career.

10:24 pm- Robin's killing 'em onstage. I mean he's really going for it with this speech. Bravo!

10:27 pm- Robin dedicates his award to Christopher Reeve.

COMMERCIALS... TIME TO STRETCH.

10:31 pm- Orlando Bloom (Legolas to me) presenting a clip of "The Aviator". Go see it.

10:33 pm- CHARLIZE! Maybe I should consider dyeing my hair black. Wow.

10:34 pm- Leonardo DiCaprio wins Best Actor for "The Aviator".

PLEASE MAKE THIS THE LAST COMMERCIAL BREAK.

10:40 pm- Best TV Series Comedy- "Desperate Housewives". Yawn. Though you want to root for the creator.

10:44 pm- Clip from "Sideways". Please, please go see this movie. Unless you're under 18, and then maybe not. Hard to say if I would have liked it back then.

10:46 pm- Best Actress.... Hilary Swank. I stand by my Oscar claim for "Baby". And to think she started out on 90210! Remember to thank your husband, Hilary! Good girl.

WELL, THEY JUST HAD TO RUN ANOTHER BATCH OF ADS, DIDN'T THEY? WHO CARES, I HAVE WINE.

10:54 pm- Hmm... why, of all people, is Sylvester Stallone presenting a clip for "Million Dollar"- oh, oh! The boxing thing! Of course.

10:55 pm- Best Motion Picture Comedy- "Sideways". Yay! You can just hear all the actors sighing with relief that they've been guaranteed some more good roles.

10:58 pm- Best Motion Picture Drama- "The Aviator"!!!! Frankly, I'm shocked. Great movie, but figured it would be passed over. Hey, now you have no excuse not to go see it and learn more about Howard Hughes. Creepy creepy.

---------------------------------

Well, my friends, if you made it this far, you deserve an award. And if you actually followed along with me in realtime, you deserve a standing ovation!

I'd like to thank all the people who helped me get here tonight....ah, where to start...
First and foremost, Six Apart for creating Typepad, my agents Cosmo, Luther, and Bunny, my mom for teaching me to be an awards show junkie, and my darling Bobby, who IM'd me through the whole evening, giving me support and encouragement and believing in me when no one else did.

Celluloid Lane: Ocean's Twelve

Well, it isn't spectacular, but it also isn't terrible. The sequel to "Ocean's Eleven" stars all the same names, has that familiar swanky vibe, and still involves a large heist, but somehow doesn't ever really get up and moving. You'll love the inevitable plot twists, but you might catch yourself getting bored here and there.

You know them all: Danny Ocean and his band of merry thieves, all back for "Ocean's Twelve". Except this time, they need to steal something reeeeeeally expensive to pay back the casino owner they ripped off in the first movie (yep, he's pissed). As you can imagine, much strategizing ensues, with dashes of comedy for good measure.

What's gotten tiresome after two movies is the way Ocean and his team always have empty warehouses to hold meetings in, cutting-edge technology for breaking and entering, and enough smarts to always outsmart other smart people. I know part of the charm of these guys is that they're total pros, but I can only go along with so much before it starts to get silly.

Amazingly enough, Julia Roberts is my favorite part of "Ocean's Twelve". It's a total turnaround for her character from the first film, who I originally found cold and unnecessary. I won't give away the joke, but she redeemed herself.

Small complaints aside, I have no doubt "Ocean's 12" will do splendidly at the box office this weekend, and most of you will feel you at least got your money's worth. And if you're a Brad Pitt/George Clooney fan, you'll probably see it twice.

Celluloid Lane: Closer

Have you ever been so in love that you did something awful to make the person hate you and set you free from your obsession? Have you ever been so in love you'd forgive someone for making your worst fear come true? Have you ever been so in love that you were reduced to nothing more than pathetic ash? If you answered yes to any of the above, you'll probably relate to the characters in "Closer". But you probably still won't enjoy it.

Quick synopsis so I don't ruin the happy ending (just kidding, it's because I can't bear to think about it any longer)- Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Jude Law, and Natalie Portman are four deeply flawed characters intertwined in a bizarre and largely unbelievable love triangle. The glaring annoyance is that none of them seem to understand real passion or the modern concept of fidelity, although they manage to keep all the trouble within a nice, neat, 4-person reality over the course of several years. I saw redeeming twinkles in each of their eyes now and then, but they continued living disappointing lives. My guess is that the point of the movie was to showcase true character flaws, the kind that will tear someone away from their dearly beloveds no matter how they try to reform...but we as an audience get zero background on these folks and what could have possibly gone wrong earlier in life to warrant such mental cruelty.

Ok, I'll admit the acting is quite good, but do these sound like people you'd like to watch for two hours? I assure you the problem doesn't get fixed and nobody learns anything.

Oh, but you will see Natalie Portman in a stripper thong and not much else for a good 10 minutes. Yep, she's a stripper, though by far the most angelic stripper ever seen on film. So if that's your bag, perhaps you should stop listening to me.

Celluloid Lane: Finding Neverland

I'm a big Johnny Depp fan, so when "Finding Neverland" opened at a theater near my house, I was first in line. Depp plays James Barrie, a playwright who receives the inspiration for "Peter Pan" while spending time with a lovely widow (Kate Winslet) and her four sons.

I liked the movie. A lot. My reasoning is based on the casting of Depp as a grown man who enjoys the company of children and believes in the power of imagination. Why? Because for a man over 40 years old, Depp has a eerie youthful quality that seems only to glow more as he ages. It really works here.

The story itself is a small, sweet tale about growing up (while not growing up) and making the choice to continue to believe in a certain type of magic. Those who know the story of Peter Pan will probably enjoy the depiction of Barrie and his quirks, as one would assume a grown-up who visits "Neverland" is a unique grown-up indeed. No need for any comparisons to Michael Jackson, although the film does touch lightly on the stigma involved with men and boys, and reveals that while Barrie's intentions were purely innocent, those around him didn't always see it that way.

I have a feeling that "Finding Neverland" will seem too slow for some of you, and perhaps it can be argued that nothing really happens, if you're looking for something loud and adventurous. But Peter Pan fans, Depp fans, and cinematic whimsy fans won't be disappointed. Bring your Kleenex.