Sarah's Question #1: Facebook Etiquette

So I was about to sit down yesterday and write a long diatribe about some of my lingering social networking questions, but then I thought, oh what the hell- I'd rather just say it out loud. I know I rambled a little too long (what can I say? I'm a yapper). I'll shoot for no more than 90 seconds next time, and maybe use Seesmic so you guys can comment with video? Thanks in advance for your participation! Oh, and I already know that my nose looks like it's made of silly putty, but I also have an excellent sense of smell, so there.

Comments

I agree, Twitter is better for the masses, but keep Facebook for "real" friends.

As for the old friends, I don't see the point of adding people who you were not friendly with in the past.

[Dan]

Sarah,

For facebook why not just create a limited profile list so that pseudo-friends only see minimal info like you get on twitter.

[Skatie]

I think as for fans, you should just keep it personal. It's not like it's Myspace or a fan page.

I have the same issues with Facebook lately as you. There have been a lot of high school acquaintances that have found me lately, and like you mentioned, we were hardly friends. At least it's some people who ran in similar social circles, but we never hung out. And then you reply to their messages because you're being nice, and they let the conversation die out. What's the use? I'm still perplexed over it all.

[Amber M]

My strategy for friending people is that if I recognize someone (from high school or through a friend or whatever) and don't harbor a grudge I'll add them, but after a month if we haven't actually talked at all I just delete them. Some people just add you and then forget because they have hundreds of friends, so it's easy to add them to be polite and then delete them after a little bit of time has passed.

Also with the new facebook you can create groups of friends and then filter the news feed to only display info from members of a specific group. That way you can have as many "friends" as you want, but you only have to read about the ones that really interest you.

[chuuch]

Love the video. Love the question. Don't really have any great insight into it, but for some reason recently I have had a rash of high school people I never talked to friend me and I always accept them. Of course, I don't care enough to make Facebook my scorecard of people I actually know, after insulting one person by asking how I knew her, all school acquaintances get the green light.

I hope you make some more videos in this style.

[dude]

Add whomever you want to facebook but don't let that keep you from doing whatever you want or saying whatever you want on facebook. When you add friends you don't really know (anymore or ever for that matter) the issue becomes "well, am I going to offend this person?" This seems to be my dilema. Obviously, just don't do anything that would give you reason to censor yourself. Should they not want to be your friend they'll remove you and you move on without even noticing. Same as with twitter.

[Chris Tashjian]

Facebook, that's a tough call... I've never searched for and added you, but I have found other "web celebrities" (which I consider you to be) and added them. I've also found film/TV/music celebrities for that matter and done the same. Not all of these "famous people" accept the request, but some do so I'd say it's a personal decision....

Given all the privacy controls on FB you can actually set up various friend lists and then restrict access to each individual part of your FB profile by friend list. So you could for instance create friend lists for "Old Friends", "Internet FanBoys/Girls", "Colleagues", etc. Then give them access to say your pictures, background info and maybe your status line -- but restrict access to your "wall". I do this with my co-workers as FB has started to become a bit like Linked In around here... I don't want them seeing my wall/pictures/etc so I just let them see my background and contact info.

As far as "old friends" (to be read: the gangsta bitches and bullies) - people change.... however, I definitely wouldn't open my current life up to all of them... you're right, in many cases these people never add value to our lives... so I'd say create a friend list for them and only let them see a few things in your FB profile.

[Joseph Pierandozzi]

I think you should be as picky as you want when it comes to friend requests of all kinds, especially considering your situation as a celebrity (however large or small you may think it to be). It could also be too difficult to be picky at all when it comes to friend requests if you receive a large number of them, so maybe you should just accept them all or ignore them all and run the risk of missing out on someone cool. If the numbers are small enough you could do what I do which is message all requesters and ask how they know you. It's a good test and it's not as rude as "Why should I be your friend?" so there's no worries about making someone upset. The old friends shouldn't necessarily be treated as a separate category from the randoms, though if you have fond memories I guess they could start out a few points ahead. I would also consider the business aspect. If you ever want to make money based on your celebrity then you need all the friends (i.e. advertising) you can get and it might not be a bad idea to start shoring up as early as possible.

[Ryan Dalzell]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. Initially, like when i first signed up to facebook, i went around and found people that I knew from high school and added them, since i'd only been out of high school at most around half a year and I still more or less kept in contact with most of them.

3 years later, and I'm honestly thinking about deleting some people i haven't spoken to in years - which is another dilemma altogether, do i really want to literally cut ALL ties with them? I *did* grow up with these people, but really, 3 years? I know i'm a different person, so who knows what they're like?

I generally keep a policy, that if i don't immediately know someone trying to add me, to ask where they know me from and accept or deny accordingly. Does that help?

[D]

I've got to say that Facebook is definitely better for personal contacts. I have that issue a lot when people I've met once or twice send invites, but I don't really know them. The "limited profiles" can work to some extent, but I wouldn't bother too much. Many people want to have as many friends as possible, because it makes them feel better.

I say stick with what you've been doing.

D

[Alfio]

Sarah,
I hears ya on that facebook situation. I have people hitting me up from grammer school and these were the kids that just picked on me everyday cause I was different. So until they start a convo with me they are still waiting to be approved by me. No worries really cause I don't see them or hang out with them. I even tried booting a few people after no convos since they added me and only 1 came back but I still haven't added him.

I thought myspace was the place to have a ga zillion friends and facebook as more of a selected set of friends.

[@bdowling]

Ok, I support you and I like you...but NOT in that weird middle-aged balding man with a goatee standing in front of his bathroom mirror, camera at the ready, taking the creepiest picture to post as his profile picture kind of like. Not to sound like a d*ck, but what did you expect when you became an "internet celeb"?

[bamatrojan]

I don't know - I tend to look at it that you must have had an impact on someone for them to try to find you after such a long time and connecting with humans is the point, no? Of course, just because you've reconnected doesn't mean that you'll become close, but there is that possibility and, again, isn't that the point?

Also, I don't know why having a lot of friends compromises your Facebook experience. I pay attention to a subset of my friends on Facebook quite easily - and I am still exposed to the broader group when I have the time to review (of course, I don't have 5k friends either, but I think the theory holds as most people only want to stay close to about 100 people, tops).

I do really like Twitter, though. I prefer it's format, but most people have not mastered the Art of posting to Twitter (that includes me), so a lot of the stuff I get is BS. The hard thing about Twitter is the self-editing because of who's following you. My mom follows me and my ex-boss (who owes me thousands of dollars) and that affects what I want to post.

[Lee Bennett]

For Twitter, it's a little different with you because you have some built-in notoriety. I've heard of some people who keep two twitter accounts--one for all the fans to follow, and another that the timeline is set to private and is only used for friends with whom the person is acquainted.

Facebook is a different beast. Even though it is possible to set your profile to be fully public, I'd wager a high percentage keep it private, but that's a little pointless if you accept any friend request.

Sure, Facebook can be used to network and make new friends, and if that's what you want to do with your account, then more power to you. I, for one, want to use it to communicate with people I actually know. As such, I'll admit that I've clicked the Ignore button on more than one occasion of friend request notifications.

There are, however, maybe a dozen or so people whom I have an outrageously vague idea who they are, but still am not keen one letting them see everything I post to my Facebook page. For them, I've assigned them into the Limited Profile friend list, then I've gone through my privacy settings and added "Except Limited Profile" to almost all aspects of Facebook functionality. They don't see my personal info or who I comment to, etc. etc.

So that's my two cents. For what it's worth, I feel like I'd be honored to list you as a contact on my Facebook page, but fully realize you don't know me from beans, so I have no expectations of that friend link.

Hope this is a little helpful to you...it's just my own two cents.

P.S. - I, for one, like your glasses.

[Ryan]

You declined my add!

(no but really you did)

I don't know, I basically will add anyone who adds me or anyone I find interesting. It's a social network - heavy emphasis on social. If it were an antisocial network it would defeat the purpose. Perhaps its just me.

[Bob M.]

Sarah, you bring up a great concept that many of us struggle with, although not on nearly the scale as you likely do.

Facebook used to be geared towards those smaller, more intimate networks. It was a fairly close ecosystem. Before it, you had MySpace and Friendster, et al. I've noticed in the past few months loads of old high school acquaintences leaping into the space, people who are clearly not tech people and for whom Facebook has a completely different purpose. I think the barrier to entry is so much lower now for non-tech people that reconnecting with people you kind of know is fun and safe, without going to the reunion. Also, it's a little bit of a cop-out safety net because of the marginal anonymity available being online, so people are just more likely to click 'Add Friend" than actually come up and shake your hand in a public space. Frankly, if I wouldn't talk to you in person, I wouldn't add you as a 'friend' because it's disingenuous and fake.

I can see were these sorts of things have become radiating circles or orbiting rings(bear with me here). With you in the center (Sarah Lane being the center of the Universe, of course!), you have different levels of friendships and networks. Only you can control who orbits in which ring; Facebook presents an odd challenge because it is sort of open to exploring and 'finding' old friends—it's the new Classmates.com or whatever—so those rings are a little more challenging to control. Each one of us has different levels of comfort with different groups of people. The decision on how you manage it is up to you; Facebook is almost too big now to make that stand, certainly as a public figure. Maybe you'd be better off changing your FB page over into one of the Fan of... style pages and using Twitter/Pownce/FF/etc. to manage your real social networks. Ultimately,though, it's your call where people come into orbit, and all these 'networking tools' are just that: tools, a means to an end.

I like what Leo is doing with Laconica over at http://army.twit.tv/ It's fascinating in a way. It's controlling the noise, just a little. Granted, Leo is a connection addict, which we love; however, tools like Laconica and such present opportunities to create stronger personal networks (case in point: I don't know Leo Laporte, of course, but because he's made himself so accessible in so many venues, I feel like I know him and speak about him in the first person because you do know him *grin*). Pownce seems to want to be an interesting tool for this, with more controls over who follows and how you group your communication. I haven't gotten my head around it all myself. I use most all of these tools because I'm a tech person, and like Leo and others, I'm fascinated by all the different ways in which people interact and communicate with these new tools.

Just my thoughts on your thoughts, as it were.

Best!

Bob

PS, no need to apologize for not wearing make up. Geesh :)

[myketuna]

lol Apologies. You know you look good. Anyway, friends. I usually just keep people that I talk to on facebook. And I also never add celebrities of any kind because I figure *and you kind of proved my point* they already have a headache's worth of friend requests anyway. So I say, don't add people you see yourself not talking to. Like about anything. Ever. It does kinda feel rough saying no, though. For me anyway.

[James McDone]

You don't have to apologize, you always look great :)

Good question. I think when someone adds people onto Facebook that they didn't see or hear from in years, they want to 1) try to become your friend again (if they were your friend) and 2) If you know where other schoolmates (for exsample) are (they are too lazy to do it themselves).

and if they don't know people, they just want to add other people to get to be their friend and who knows. They might fall in love together or they could talk to their friends or "friends" as I call it.

Take care *hug*

[Josh]

Okay! Here are my thoughts on this:

On a whim I decided to be friends with Felicia Day on Facebook. I knew it going in that our friendship would be irrelevant, but it did pose an interesting question: Should I, a recent Theatre Arts graduate, look at this Facebook friendship as a "networking opportunity"? In other words, knowing that I personally don't know Felicia, and probably WOULDN'T know her ever in my life, would it be right to maintain her as a friend in the odd event that she might need actors or something for a project? You might think that's silly, but she DID Twitter about wanted a production assistant (or something to that effect) for the second Guild season, and since her Twitter also updates her Facebook status, I saw it on Facebook. Now I don't live in LA, but my friend Ryan does, so I sent Felicia a Facebook message telling her about my friend Ryan.

I don't think he got the job, and honestly, Felicia might've responded to me kindly just to be nice, but it still acknowledges the fact that I used her Facebook friendship as a networking opportunity.

So the question, then, becomes one of the INTENT of your Facebook profile. You, obviously, are a web celeb (did I just make that up? probably not but it sounds cool), and so lots of people will want to be your Facebook friend. Why, I have no idea. I guess ordinary people like to know what celebrities are doing on Facebook. But! This friendship will be exploited. So you have to ask yourself, "What do I want my Facebook profile to be?" If you want it to be a place where you and your real, actual, tangible friends stay in contact, then you shouldn't befriend ANYONE except for your friends. If you want it to be a place where your fans can, I don't know, hang out, then yeah, open it up. You can also edit your privacy settings like Dan mentioned, but I think that's getting to a level of detail that you don't necessarily need. Basically you are either going to have a lot of friends on your profile, or a few. And the worst part is that since you are well known, you'll have to make honest judgments about your friends, and how many of them are actually friends.

I think this answers your "old friends" question, too. I have a lot of high school people friended on Facebook, but then again, I have a strange desire to see what people from my HS are doing today (obviously so I can say I'm better than they are). So again, it's just a question of what you want your profile to be.

Wow, that was a long response.

[Ryan]

ps.) apology accepted, but don't let is happen again!

COMPLETELY KIDDING! You look great.

[Leah]

In my head, MySpace and Twitter are for being "friends" with celebrities and stuff, and Facebook is for people you actually know (or used to know). Now they've got the fan thing on Facebook, and of course the Facebook groups, it's easier for people like you to let people connect with you, but also keep some amount of privacy. If I was famous, that's what I'd do!

As for adding old friends, I do have a lot of people as my friends who I haven't seen since I was about 10 (now 21), but I like being able to see what everyone's up to. Maybe I'm just stalkery, I don't know. I do refuse to add people who were bitches to me back at school, but as they're in the same network as me, I tend to see what they're doing anyway. I don't add people as soon as I meet them either, but once we've met up a couple of times and I know I want to stay in contact and be real life friends with them, then I will.

[J.P.]

Very good question, indeed! I have the same problem, but on a much smaller level, as I am not as famous as you! Regardless, thanks for being my Facebook friend, even though we have never met! I am apparently one of the "cool people" that you mentioned in your video clip.... Who knew I was cool?

[Jeff Bertholdi]

Hmmm... I am a horrible social network user. Let's get that covered right up front. I do have a MySpace account and a Facebook account. That is largely due to all the crap I got from friends for NOT having one.

Anyway here is my take. Don't add anyone that you don't know and don't want to add. It's that simple. Unless you are going to try and be a "GaryVee" and use it as a marketing tool and self-branding, you will never get anything out of having 7000 friends other than being able to SAY you have 7000 friends.

Now on the contrary, if you are passionate about getting a message out to as many people as possible, then having all those friends is a good thing. Web 2.0 right? There are many different reasons to use Web 2.0 other than monetization.

I have only a few friends on FB and MS, and they all know that I rarely read anything on there. I'm a full-contact sort of guy. Call me or find me in person and we'll really talk and get down to communicating.

Over the years, I haven't ever really noticed you get into the Web 2.0 spirit. So don't feel bad about that. It's not for everyone. Not everyone needs a lot of people to feel good about our impact. You already have a nice audience. Do you need a bigger one? That's really the question.

[Erik]

I see things like this: If I'm looking for you after years of silence, I would rather spark a conversation through email regardless of where I've found you (MySpace, Facebook, and the rest). I'm not quick to start "friending" folks who send me a request, either. It's just my nature, I suppose.

In cases like this I say treat the 'net no different than you would the world. If you get a friend request from someone you knew when you were younger (Maybe you grew up together, maybe you knew each other in High School... whatever the case may be) , ask yourself honestly: How would I react if I met them at the mall or a gas station? Do I really know them anymore? Do I want to know them now?

You may be surprised at you're answers but you'll get a better sense of if you want to spark a new friendship with them today. That's exactly what it will be, too. You are not the same kid you used to be and neither are they. You have different likes/dislikes/experiences/running crews than back in the day with no contact and no ability to share it with them. Same goes for you when the situation is flipped. That's a lot of catching up to do.

Then again, that's just me. I could be wrong.

[Erica]

I add people I went to high school with but that's just because I like looking at their profiles and seeing who they are, or are pretending to be now. It's like people watching, but through the internet.

As for friend of a friend situations. Unless I've met the person in real life, I don't add them.

I do agree with everyone that you should use myspace as a fan site and facebook for personal use.

[joan]

I keep Facebook for people I actually know. Even with Twitter since I'm not a celebrity like you with thousands of followers, I don't allow everyone to follow me. If I see they are trying to marketing themselves or a product or have some very strange website, I block them.

[Chrissy]

Loved this! Make more. You remind me of one of my really cool aunts.

[Jude]

I've read where you should use LinkedIn and Facebook for networking. Can't we just use email to keep in touch with the people we want? I don't know, maybe a twitter that would be restricted only to your friends and not on a public timeline is the answer.

[John Dallas]

I tend to try and keep Facebook for people I actually know or *want* to know. The reasons behind the *want* to know category are pretty simple. First, they were acquaintances in the past in school or other areas and I have an interest in what they are doing. Second, I want to learn (AKA Network) with them. This is NOT a bad thing. People think that "networking" is bad. It is just the opposite. It is building your own community. If you can help others AND yourself while doing this, then I say go for it.

The great thing about Facebook is the ability to have so much control over who sees what. It is also great to be able to delete friends whenever you like. Twitter has incorporated this as well, but with the sheer number of followers some of us have (you, not me!), I can understand that it is not managed that way. I think the others have it right in that you should create some simple groups in Facebook and give your friends list the once over to segregate. Once this is done, you will be able to continue to please some of your fan base, the cool ones anyway, AND keep in touch with "real" friends. NOTE: I use the quotations because I have five REAL friends. I don't think anyone can pretend that Facebook is only for REAL friends.

In essence, keep doing what you are doing. You get to pick your friends, fairly or not. Have fun!

PS: Don't stop Twittering semi-personal stuff. That is what keeps the personal connection with your fans. I feel like I could get to know the real you through this medium. Maybe I am just kidding myself, but opening yourself up to the opportunity is never bad.

[esd714]

You know, I wa actually thnking about this exact topic just the other day. I get slammed with friend requests and friend suggestions--and many of them I am sure are derived from the right rail where FB actually makes friend suggestions. You ever look at that? I swear, I get at least five/day that say lives in NY. You know how many people live in NY? That's the best their algorhythms can come up with?

So my solution: I usually accept these friend requests and send them off to one of two or three pre-set friend lists. Then when I am looking at new apps, messing around with new features-these are my guinnea pigs. Better them than people I know, right?

[Doug Schommer]

I think I love you. Not really. Maybe though.

[Jeff Garlick]

Hey Sarah!

I only WISH I had this problem but I use facebook the same way as many other social sites. Only my myspace is REALLY the people I know and there are SEVERAL people I'm friends with who are celebrities that I'll NEVER hear from but I like to stay updated on their concert schedules and appearances.

You could follow Veronica Belmont's lead and set up a fansite on facebook so that those of us who feel like we know you but who you will not have time to add personally can still add you in some small way to our friends lists. V became a friend of mine this way and I've only communicated with her about a dozen times but it was a getting to know you process that seemed to work for her!

I've had the EXTREME pleasure to correspond with you a few times around the time of your wedding and a few times while you and Brendan were traveling the globe and EACH response made me feel VERY special but I know that we don't REALLY know each other and you're just a VERY gracious person!

You are "cursed" with a perception of easy approachability! It's not hard to imagine being friends with you and that's a gift but has led you to this problem as well.

I DO KNOW this about you! You are SMART, AMBITIOUS and GENUINE and you will figure this out in the way that serves you best! :-)

Good Luck!

Jeff Garlick
Portage, MI

PS - Will you be my facebook and myspace friend and follow me on Twitter? LOL! ;-)

[Jaym]

It's a tough issue.

For someone like me, with really no friends to speak of (referring to offline life, not online) I find the social sites one of the only sources of social outreach I have. Of course, I'm shy (even online) so I tend to have problems requesting adds to people I don't know.

The one instance that isn't true is when I admire/respect someone I'm aware of from technology sources (TV, movies, web.) In your case, Sarah, I know you from AOTS and loved your work there, and was pleased to find your current online presence. Being able to follow your "life" online is actually interesting- I see your career as something akin to what I'd be doing were it not for the anxiety disorder I have. Also, on Twitter, you're quite funny (as you always are.)

On the flip side, I can see where if you had 7,000 people you don't know constantly inundating you with questions, comments and requests, it'd be massively overwhelming. I know I've sent you several "joke" responses on Twitter, but in all honesty I expect there's about a 1% chance of you even seeing the response. Not sure if others think in those terms, but I tend to be a realist.

Still, I think you shouldn't be afraid to add people overall- you could find some people you vibe with quite well that you otherwise wouldn't get a chance to know. I believe the best route is the dual-account path. Have your official "Sarah Lane" account for the fans and people like me who you do not know, and have your "secret identity" account for your close friends or those you find especially interesting... that way you can focus on your friends when desired, but also scan through your "fan mail" on the other account every so often, and possibly pick a few diamonds out of the rough, or throw some comments back and forth on a boring day.

As to old "friends"... I know what you mean, I'm catching up with quite a few high-schoolers, and I never hung out with any of them. In my case, I feel bad because I've had a terrible string of events going on since '98, so while they're all married with two kids and plugging along in their careers... I have to figure out a "cool" way to explain I've been unemployed since 2001, haven't been on a date since 1997, and live at home with a parent. (All due to anxiety disorder.) Obviously it makes "catching up" embarassing and unenjoyable for me. If you do the dual-account method, you can add them to the fan account without worrying much about dealing with them.

Good question- it's something each person is going to feel differently about based on their own life situation, desires and needs, I'd think!

[Dave Whitaker]

Seriously? This is your dilemma?

What a snob.

Maybe you need to limit Facebook to your "Web Celebrity" friends.

I'm not hatin' on you but that was an arrogant video.

[Alan McBee]

Well, I'm hatin' on Dave, there. Seriously dude. When you have contempt for someone, keep it to yourself. Otherwise, YOU'RE the snob. (As in, you think you have a higher moral authority and that everyone wants to hear your derision. As If.)

Sarah, I don't think there's a good way to do this yet. I am a programmer and concocted an idea for a social network where the two people in a relationship don't HAVE to agree on the nature of the relationship without revealing that to the other. So when a friend of a friend wants to be your friend, you can accept their request by classifying them as a "someone I have no frakkin' idea who" and they can classify you as "bestest closest most intimatest friend. ever." And neither one of you really know what the other said. But when you make a move (twitter, blog, comment, whatever), you could control which group really gets the updates.

It's not a simple problem to solve, but if I thought of a solution, then I'm sure there's a few smarter (and, more importantly, better funded) people than me solving it already.

->A

[Ed]

I agree with you on pretty much everything except old friends.

It has been many many years since high school and college and military service. Over the years I have lost touch with many of the people I knew from "back in the day". As I get older, I find I would like to reconnect with some of these people, and it has proved to be very difficult.

My suggestion would be . . .

Include anyone that you remember from high school or college. Even people who where just acquaintances, can become good friends or provide you with links to your old friends. The same goes for acquaintances from old jobs.

Ed

[Mitch]

I had somewhat of the same situation a while ago where I was getting friend requests from a bunch of high school acquaintances and it was a little weird to me that they would consider me a friend in any way since my opinion of them was/is less than stellar (and we never hung out ever). I accepted the majority of them, but later removed a couple cause it became obvious after seeing some of the stuff in their profiles that they hadn't changed at all.

On the other hand there have been a few old friends that i haven't seen/heard from in almost a decade that have found me on facebook and we actually have stuff to talk about and still get along.

There are definitely users out there that treat facebook like a competition to see how many "friends" they can accumulate the fastest, but I tend to stick with a network of people that i actually interact with on a somewhat regular basis. Gotta treat it case-by-case, I suppose.

[Tomboys]

I think people should use social sites in whatever manner they see fit. Some people are more extroverted and make fast associations with a lot of people. They prefer lose and easy going friendships rather than more intimate ones. I don't think either style is right or wrong.

So basically whatever floats your boat. Just my 2 cents.

[chris]

I would just like to say that silly putty is one of the more awesome substances invented by man.

[Charles G]

I have accepted friend requests from old HS friends and acquaintances, and while most have led to nothing other than a one person increase in my friends count, a few have been worthwhile additions. No new BFF developments, but it has let me know that people often change over the years, often for the better, and actually are sometimes interesting and bring perspective to my life in ways that people I am actually friends with sometimes don't. Give it a shot; if you have nothing to say to each other, what do you have to lose, really?

As for ppl you don't know, just because you have a web presence doesn't mean you have to friend everybody who pops up.

[Critter]

Wow! I never really thought how it would be hard to think about who to add or not to any of my accounts. I do not use Face Book as the whole evil issue with it just turned me from using it. I don't know if the true story on it. Your issue is now your home and not traveling the world. When you traveled you met people of an honest nature. A genuine connection and that kind of information benefits both parties. Here your popular status would make others motives more doubtful of being true. I mean old school peeps just now checking in? Telling of your old ways and how your better now??? Pleezzz! I was told to read a book from a friend in L.A. it was Celestine Prophecy by James L. Redman. Pretty much it is about getting your message or information from others. Nothing is random... Eh, if it is true then my life runs smoother than yours. You have to weed out the leaches and I only have to deal with random homeless actors. Will Work for Food signs are easy to pass. It has to be hard with the "Oh my gawd! I have not seen you in years"....then you wonder are they really that happy to see you again. Will just know that you have reached a lot that do deserve a word from you. You have reached more than most of us can ever do. I however travel 95% of the time. Today I met 2 persons in Toledo, 1 in Chicago during layover and 2 here in Atlanta. Now out of that group I got a good lead on the financial future from only one. It was the least likely person I would of thought had good information. Figures...I judge books by the cover at times too. Don't get stressed with the filtering as everyone deserves one interview. Now I have talked too long!

[Steve Z]

Just for watching that im adding you on facebook haha. Names Steve Z if I do not look interesting you can totally decline it i wont be mad :)

[Randy]

Its funny that your asking this question. I just had my 20th high school reunion, that I did not attend. I kept thinking, "why would I want to see these people, when I havent kept in touch for the last ten to twenty years?" Why would it be any diff on facebook? Its just clutter in my opinion. When it comes to facebook and myspace, Ive always tried to keep my "distant" friends or aquaintances to a minimum to avoid "clutter" in finding my true friends. Hope this helped. Oh and I think your silly putty nose is Money.

[Zee Brat]

I will accept friendships from people I knew in school. To see if they really want to stay however, I am constantly updating my status with things that some people may not want to know about myself or my day in order to shake them loose.

[Jennifer]

At first I thought it was kind of strange that people from my high school would ask to be my friend on FB even though we didn't hang out, but our school was small and if they were there when I was, I just accept them. You can always remove later and FB doesn't notify them. Mostly I wonder why people are interested in me (like when total strangers start following me on Twitter), but you would probably have the opposite dilemma since you are bit of a celebrity. :-) Fan pages on FB are nice, but that doesn't seem to be what you are asking about since you mentioned people from your high school in the video.

I will second the thought Ed raised about old acquaintances though. I attended my 20th reunion a while back and it was really nice to connect with people in different ways than when we were in school. People definitely change. I wish I could connect with some of the people I went to college and grad school with, but I kind of lost touch and I don't even remember all of their names. FB and LinkedIn seem to give us a way to reconnect and maintain those ties so that we don't totally lose them over time.

Finally, I just like finding connections/small worldishness with people I wouldn't think I had anything in common with. For example, I love my cats and it's fun to hear about yours on Twitter. I went to a class yesterday and every person (or 4 out of 5) at our table had lived in New Jersey (I was born there). It's not really amazing, but it makes the world less lonely and more delightful for me.

[Addicted_To_AOTS]

I think you look just as great without any make-up!
I totally agree like when people add me that I havent seen in years im like "Hey...What Now"

[The 13th Floor]

Well to be honest the people that add you that you used to know but you never hung out with probably just want to add you because you are famous now. The guys that add you that you've never met in your life are just wishing in the back of there mind that even though your married and live 1000 miles away in a town they've never been too. There wishing that there is still a .01% chance that you will hook up with them, that or there just trying to do you like all the other girls they add. As for your real friends that you know in real life, definatly keep them because when it comes down to it in life the ones you care about and the ones that you love are all that matter.

[Lookman Mojeed]

What is the definition of "real" friends. If I used facebook for only my real friends I would only have about 4 and those are my best friends pretty much. I like facebook because its a way of keeping up with people and seeing how they are doing in a less stalkrish way. I'm in college, graduated this june from high school. At that point i felt like I should start deleting people who i thought was fake or didn't talk to. Since I was going to school on the other side of NY i realized there wasn't a chance of me being friends with them. Til this day I still get friend request from people from my town, but I just end of ignoring them. At first I thought it would be mean but I realized i rather not have strangers reviewing my life even though I have countless social website accounts.

Also its not good having too many friends. I feel like if they are your fan, they should stick with reading your blog, watching your show, or follow your twitter bc if they want to add you on facebook they might be asking a little bit too much. Also if the person was bitchy in HS i doubt you should add them hahaha.

[Kevin]

Well, so much for asking you to be my facebook friend. LOL. Seriously, I don't see much reason why you need to add everyone who requests to be your facebook friend. You've got twitter and your blog and revision 3, there are plenty of forums for "fans" to access and interact with you. Save facebook for your "friends." As for old acquaintances, if you were never in the same circles "back in the day" not sure why you would want to now, unless you want to try to relive "glory days."

take care,

Kev in STL

[Rene Hasp]

Woaaa Sarah you look so Nerdy!! Love it.. Now I understand why I wasn't approved to be a Face book Friend.. I guess they should come up with www.Fanbook.com. This way you can hit up your fans with pics and blogs.. then again www.Sarahlane.com already does that.. So it's all good... And about you old friends from High School!! They are just after you fame and money... J/K