Birthday Blues

I don't know what my problem is, but I have a hard time with birthdays. Especially now that I'm over 30. Yesterday my bikini waxer told me I should just start lying and tell everyone I'm 20 years old, forever. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I have a Wikipedia page, so I just smiled and nodded. Then she gave me a new pair of underwear she procured from a mysterious box under the table, winked at me, and the subject was dropped.

Birthdays are a time of great reflection for me, always have been. What did I accomplish this year? What didn't I accomplish? Do I have regrets? What's next? It's a healthy exercise for anyone... but I'm hard on myself, and I think I just let it get to me.

Do you do this?

Comments

[Jennifer]

Hey Sarah, I hope you have a great birthday! I have those reflect/regret feelings often, not just on my birthday...but I'm in my 40's now and the midst of trying to make career changes I think I should have made a long time ago. I've been working with life coach and she really helps me look at the positives and celebrate all of my successes, even the little ones, like getting up the courage to walk up to you and introduce myself in a bar. ;-) I try not be so hard on myself, but sometimes it's hard not to be!

I think you have accomplished a lot and you have a wonderful sense of humor and a lot of honesty. You set a great example for women, both younger and older than you!

One of my coaching assignments was to come up with a list of my "value strings" so that going forward, I could about how things I do either support or don't support my values. Some of mine are "awareness", "learning", "animals", "creativity", "camaraderie".... You may have already done something like this, but if not, it's a rewarding exercise. The string idea is to start with a word and then add other words, phrases, even names of people that define that "value" for you. For example, with animals, I have "unconditional love / connection to nature / soft / cute / personality" in the current string. The list and strings are also not set in stone so changes are allowed and expected!

Have a fabulous birthday! (eat lots of cake)

[Jeff]

It's certainly heathly to set goals. It's not healthy to bog your mind down thinking about the what-ifs. Read your email and do something crazy. Now! Don't think about it. Just do it. Seriously.

J.

[danb]

Sarah... you don't need to lie about your age.. you'll be cute at 50...

please don't talk about your bikini waxer any more.. my heart can't take it... it was enough when it was all in my head... but now...

[Jon S]

Birthdays are probably the most depressing days for everyone. Sure, they get harder the older we get, but it's just one day, right? We get wiser each year and learn from our mistakes. We all have regrets, but we also learn valuable lessons from them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all sulk on our birthdays, but we should be happy and thankful that we've made it through another year.

Happy birthday, Sarah.....and many more to you!

P.S. You still look good no matter how old you are ;)

[Mike Mathia]

Yes. I do this often actually. No worries. Like I said on Twitter, I live by this:

"Everything I'm not, made me everything that I am."

*hug*

With Love...

[ChiliMac]

Now that I'm through the first quarter of my 39th year I am finding myself doing that more and more and being harder and harder on myself. When 40 is just around the corner I guess that happens.

[chris]

Personally, all I can remember at any given point in time is that I'm over 30. Even then I stop and think "Really? I'm that old? I don't feel like it." I can remember the year I was born and that never changes, so why bother remembering a number that changes every year? I just do the math every time.

Also, I thought you were on the west coast, which would mean you don't turn 32 for another hour.

[Peril]

Of course I do this too. Lately i've been feeling more like a failure then before. Were only human and its always human nature to put yourself down more then to build yourself up. I may be 23 right now but time is just flying by. Within the last 2 years i've had more heartache then the last 21 years of my life. When its my birthday i ask myself the same questions. Almost everytime I hate the answers but I just gotta go with the flow and so do you Sarah. I may not know you personally but I got a pretty good idea of how your feeling. Keep your head up!

[Mostly Lisa]

i multiply my emotional age by my mental age and get an age around 25... mostly.

[Saturday]

Do what? Blog? Bikini wax? Ramble? Relax Ms Lane, you're fine. Maybe floating a little but fine. I could type away complimenting your talent , wit, intelligence, energy, and skill but you know that. Regrets? Sure, who doesn't have regrets? You mend fences where you can, do good deeds for karma, but you still regret the things that went wrong. Regrets are great for learning, not so good for brooding.

While you are busy regretting be sure to include accomplishments. The people you helped, the changes you created, the individuals who grew because of what you wrote, captured, conceived, or presented.

Thanks for letting us see the world through your eye, many happy returns, and know the world is a better place with you in it.

[Bunny Emerald]

Happy Birthday, beautiful girl! Life is a journey with many twists and turns, the good more than making up for the not so good. You are wise to stop, reflect and learn from the past. Keep the happy memories close to your heart and embrace the wonderful mystery of life.

xoxoxo

[Don]

Get drunk, Sarah! =)

[Sweet Luna]

I simply understand exactly how you feel! I used to be the kind of person who thought birthdays was just one more day which includes a celebration. However, 3 days ago I turned 30 and I had the blues a few days before the day! I can totally relate with being hard on 'self' and the goals reflection. Birthdays will never be the same. We need to keep it fun!

Happy Belated! Woman, you're beautiful! You look 20's! What helped? A friend said to me, "You're not 30! You are 18 with 12 years of experience!" Personally I like the idea of 'experience'. ** Virtual Hugs **

;-)

[Jeff M.]

I would have to agree with your waxer, you could easily lie about your age if it wasn't for wiki... and the internets. I've been watching popSiren and would have never guessed you were even over 25.

[Chris (Amateur Traveler)]

Don't lie... just don't use base 10. I turn 0x30 this year. Until my birthday I am 0x2F.

[Ryan]

We're a lot alike. I don't really care for birthday's and find getting old very difficult.

[BrionG]

Yes - its the time that I scan my closets & look over my 'boy toys' to see what I have not worn or used during the past year; I then add those items to my Stuff I Own That Someone Else Could Use list (i.e., Goodwill or The Salvation Army or a local homeless or battered women shelter) ... I feel a whole lot better when I'm done!

PS: What - danb - said ... [>~

[becky]

Yes, I am totally feeling that way, Sarah. I turn 35 in about 2 weeks and it's really hitting me hard - much more so than 30 ever did. I should try to reflect on all the things I did get done in the last year, rather than what I haven't.

[Chris]

I forgot your birthday was right before mine... 10/17

Hope all is well - greetings from DFW

[G-Boogie]

When another birthday comes around, I check myself in the mirror and look to see if I'm still hot. Once I realize that I am, I do the birthday dance. Sometimes I do this while naked. Then I don't feel so bad about being over thirty. This won't work forever but I thought I'd throw it out there...

I'm eating poptarts. mmmm good.

[Denver]

Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey that reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we live it.