Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light Go

I know I've been on a musical kick here recently, although if you complained about that I'd argue that I'm always on a musical kick and only hold back from writing about music on this blog every five minutes so that I don't have to admit that it's all I think about. Well, that and cat hair.

Picture it: Sebastopol, California, 1988. 7th grade. I'm at Sequoia Verducci's dance party. Events like these were usually organized around someone's birthday and consisted of about 20 kids standing awkwardly along the perimeter of a living room during the fast songs and pairing up to experiment with boy-girl body contact for the slow songs. I know, it seems ridiculous to me now, too. No wonder my mom was always reading from "The Hurried Child", sipping Bushmill's and weeping.

Anyway, Sequoia had the best house for dance parties because her parents let us dance in the bonus room, kind of like a detached garage, a good 100 feet from the main house. Oh, I'm sure Mrs. Verducci was hovering the whole time, but back then it felt like we were left alone as hedonists, free to put our hands on each other's shoulders and waists, far away from the prying eyes of anyone over thirteen. Of course, this pre-dates alcohol, which any self-respecting fourteen year old knows is the only way to party. Just kidding. Not really.

Of course, in 1988 being a DJ was a huge challenge, since nobody even had CD players yet. Instead, an assortment of cassette tapes had to be cued up, played, and then quickly swapped out before the dead air made partygoers want to call their parents for early rides home. If a host wanted to play the same song twice in one night, well, that could be tricky. There was rewinding involved. Mix tapes were an option, though in the end less flexible. How did we even get out of bed in the morning?

Are you wondering if this post has a point? My point (and I do have one) is that at this particular dance party at Sequoia Verducci's house, we all wanted to slow dance to "Love Bites" by Def Leppard, because at that time it was the Best Slow Dancing Song Ever Made, the kind of song that made every girl who didn't get asked to dance cry in the shadows of the bonus room. Except that if you're familiar with "Hysteria", which is the album that "Love Bites" is on, then you know that right after "Love Bites" comes one of the Best Obnoxious Hair Metal Songs Ever Made, and that song is called "Pour Some Sugar On Me". That song made 7th graders go completely apeshit. Arms flailing, screaming, wrestling, the works. We all kind of knew it was about sex, but it seemed more like an appropriate excuse to spit fruit punch on each other.

So this past weekend I'm innocently watching a VH1's "Greatest 80's Songs Countdown", to which list "Pour Some Sugar On Me" has naturally been included, and DO YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZE ABOUT THE LYRICS FOR THE FIRST TIME?

That:

Cause I'm hot (hot, so hot) sticky sweet, from my head (head, head) to my feet...
Do you take sugar? Waa duh cah taaaaaaah!

...is actually not at all correct. Here's what's correct:

Cause I'm hot (hot, so hot) sticky sweet, from my head (head, head) to my feet...
Do you take sugar? ONE LUMP OR TWO?

Please, someone tell me that they're also experiencing an epiphany here. It's just so, obvious. One lump or two! Of course! Right under my nose for 20 mother effing years. Am I the only one? One lump or two!

I need a burrito.

Comments

[Don]

Anytime you need a one on one demostration of what they were singing about let me know. chocolate=happiness, according to JK Rowlings‏! Have you had yours today? =)

[Syl]

Even though I'm only 16, I think it's pretty cool to go back to songs you listened to when you were younger. You pick up a LOT of things you would have never noticed, and it's pretty fun, too.

[Mike D]

hahhaha I never really knew the words to the song anyways. When I learn the actual words to a song that I've been singing wrong for years is always reality shattering. There was a commercial a few years back about this. It was 2 people argueing over the lyrics in a car. I forget the specifics, but you get the jist.

[Eric]

I feel stupid now - I don't get it...

[Jeffrey E]

Hahaha. This kind of realization always happens with you and lyrics or what words mean. =P It's fun to read.

[faroff]

I did know the "one lump or two" verse but i still cant figure out what is said in the Red Hot Chile Peppers song "Under the Bridge" the part where he starts yelling something like "coma da place shata i spil sa bla dat day" see that just doesn't make sense. But then again if i knew the words I would still mess them up. : )

[Nathan]

Hey, Hope all is well.

I know this is prob not the best place to comment you about it,but after looking at your blog, i checked out ur Flickr photos, they are great. I was wondering if you could tell me what camera you used and what lenses etc.

contact me at [email protected]

Thanks alot, and keep the good work up!

Nathan

[edu]

Mine is the worst: Sebadoh - Together Or Alone

It goes:
It was never my intention
To blindly feed the boy/girl game

I thought it went:
To blindly feed the boy cocaine

So now the song is less interesting but also less uncomfortable.

[faroff]

Finally someone has translated Pearl jams "Yellow Ledbetter." Wow Thats a deep song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLd22ha_-VU

[Paul]

kissthisguy.com (The Archive of Misheard Lyrics) is all I have to say

[Eric]

Nathan:

For data on the camera, see the "additional information" section on the right hand side of each Flickr page. Click "More Properties" for more info than you probably need.

[Brett.]

I was a senior in high school when I found out the ACDC song "Dirty Deeds" wasn't talking about Thunder Chickens...

and I got a ton of crap at work (when that kind of thing still existed in my world) one day for singing "Oooooooo-pen the dooor! I'm a loser baby!" when apparently Beck is speaking Spanish.

Who knew?

Obviously musicians need to put more effort into enunciation. These mistakes can't possibly be our fault.

[Erik Lefler]

OMG, that was so funny. I never knew that's what the words were either.

[David]

>I need a burrito.

Nah, you need a Kitten Caboodle :-)

[Timothy Smith]

Hmm now I feel old. hehe thanks. How many buttons did you have on your denim jacket?

[BrionG]

{ROTFLMAO} ... What Jeffery Said!

[Chris Allen]

Yeah, I knew abut the lyrics for Pour Some Sugar on Me, but it is still funny how easy we can assume we know a song so well and then end up being slapped in the face with this kind of realization. Oh, and a fitting title to the post by the way. If your interested and are into Def Leppard their newest album 'Songs from the Sparkle Lounge' will be released March 18th. Big Def Leppard fan by the way, and thanks for the reminder of growing up in the 80's.

[Scot]

I absolutely agree with the above notes. It reminds me of that recent mobile phone commercial with the Clash's Rock the Casbah in which he was singing "stomp the cat box"

As for the Chilli Peppers its the following
Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

[Coby]

I am disillusioned. I am distraught. I am...going to listen to tat song the second I get home for verification. I can't believe it. One lump or two. I can even hear it in my head. I don't like this much clarity in my life at any one time. I didn't even like girls when I heard this song the first time. Not that it does much good for me to like them now. I'm getting just as much female attention as when I hated them. Poor some sugar on me.

[Robert]

I have spent the last 20 years of my 35 yelling wunnnn daaaaa fa sure. I feel kind of cheated and lost now. What next you are going to tell me that Rocket by Def Lepard is Rocket ya sail the night alone?

[Walter C.]

I'm not a fan of Def Leppard but what was up with that "eben-oben..." jibber-jabber in the beginning of "Foolin"?

[Manley]

This is the all time greatest strip club song ever. :)

[C.]

Ah, the music epiphany. I know the moment well. Standing there with nothing but the clothes on your back, the amazed look on your face, and the hopes that you haven’t sang the wrong thing out too loudly, and the realization that you have. (Huh, and I thought they were laughing at my enthusiasm…)

Also, it’s about quantity vs. quality. I’ve had my fair share, but then there’s the ones that I was fu*%ing WAAAAY OFF. Not, even close. Like, change the meaning of the song off. Its one thing to not be in the ball park, it’s quite another to be zipping around another galaxy.

How many more are there that I have yet to discover? Yikes.

[Laura]

Brett-

Beck is saying: "Soy un perdedor" which is, of course, espanol for "I'm a loser".

Sarah-
Glad to know I'm not the only one in the world to make odd epiphanies years after the fact.

But I'm still puzzling over a song I hear on the radio (the singer? who knows) (considered early 90s light rock) where the chorus goes "I like tacos". Does she really? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

[captaineri]

Yea, waa duh caa tuh ... lol
It's a newer song but I thought that panic at the disco song was "poisoned rationallity" not "poise and rationality"
I like my version better...

[Dave]

I loved Def Lepard. In fact, I loved a lot of 80's hair band metal bands. Poison, Warrant, Def Lepard, etc.

VH1 did a Best 80's Power Ballads one time. Love Bites was like #5 or so.

[Kevin]

Sarah.

I enjoyed your lasted post. I know you are always on the lookout for new blogs, I thought you might enjoy a couple music blogs I enjoy checking out.

I Am Fuel is one of my favorite music blogs around. I am always discovering new bands there. Check it out sometime.

http://fuelfriends.blogspot.com/

A recent post led me to the link below, which happened to have a discussion and video for Boys II Men, which brought back some fun memories for me. When I got my first boom box in HS with a CD player in it, the first CD I ever purchased was the Bommerang soundtrack with such great artists as the afor mentioned Boys II Men, Grace Jones, and PM Dawn.

http://passionweiss.com/2008/02/01/la-weekly-boyz-ii-men-a-philadelphia-story/

Enjoy,

Kev in St. Louis

[Ian]

That song also rocked my world, although I was 12 at the time. Don't feel bad, I can't even count how many song lyrics I don't know or thought I knew!

Currently listening to: Latryx: The Album

[Thats ridiculous]

"Sequoia Verducci?"

Ok ... I won't say anything ...

*bites lip*

Ahhhh!!!!

Fine!

"Sequoia Verducci???"

NUKKA PLEASE!

[Whitney Colbert]

I was only a few years old at the time of that song but I grew up on that album and it bothered the crap out of me too, I have to say! I can honestly say as many times as I heard that growing up, I never realized those were the lyrics until much, much later on. I remember my father playing the Hysteria tape (VHS) over and over again from the late eighties to the early 90's- Love Bites for me always took a back seat to Pour some sugar on me, but hey, I was little and not much for the love ballads. I also used to call Joe Elliot, the lead singer, Tracy for some reason. I dont know either. One of those weird things that seemed ok at the time.

[Joe]

I live near the city of Sheffield where Def leppard are from. People from our parts have broad regional accents that im sure must be hard for people from the US to understand sometimes. I know whenever Ive visited the states,lots of people cant understand a word Im saying!!

either that or Joe elliot was seriously wasted when he sang the lyric ;)

[Jones1]

Dear Sarah Lane,
Where do you get off? Speaking energetically about music AND enlightening the younger audience about being a middle schooler in the eighties? By now you can tell that I'm speaking ironically and have nothing but good things to say about your blog. Please continue as you may, and make no efforts to change your tune whatsoever.

[Bill]

I had the same type of epitphany about Grease. I could have sworn that Oliva Newton-John was saying "wizard of oz" or something to the song "You're the one that I want." I mean they almost sound the same right?

Oh well. Things we learn...