A Bomb on Celluloid Lane: "Exorcist: The Beginning"

There are many reasons why I didn't enjoy "Exorcist: The Beginning". The most obvious reason is that it was a horrible, horrible movie. I don't even feel it deserves a proper review. Think "The Mummy" meets Satan, except that the plot unravels at an absurd pace and the acting is laughable at best.

Anyone who saw the original Exorcist knows how a scary movie is done right, right? Man, I remember the first time I saw it. I was at a slumber party in 6th grade, and was so traumatized and freaked out that I called my parents sobbing in the middle of the night to come get me.

The original Exorcist had none of the gratuitous violence, campy one-liners, oh-so-obvious bathroom shower shots, and obligatory "the bad guy's dead but not really because when you sigh and walk away his eyes will open and he'll grab your ankle and we'll have to sit through more of this crap" scenes that we scary movie audiences, for inexplicable reasons, have come to expect. That's what I call lazy horror, and this new "prequel" to the 1973 classic was nothing but. I hate to be so critical of a series I've always enjoyed, but there you go.

Hmm what else, oh yes... I enjoyed the experience even less because of the mind-blowingly inconsiderate audience members I had to share oxygen with, the type that seem to flock horror movie seats in larger droves than any other film genre. I thought the same thing when I went to see "Scream" back in 1996, except at least then it was an issue of people yelling out stupid comments to the screen as if they weren't ruining the magic for everyone else. Last night, a girl in the row behind us was having a conversation on her cell phone for the first five minutes of the movie (I still thought I could be in for a good flick at that point, so the distraction factor just didn't seem fair). She wasn't even whispering. So I shushed her. I gave her the bewildered "what are you thinking?" stare. I even asked her to please, please be quiet in a very calm big girl voice. She ignored me and eventually walked out of the theater when the conversation was over, never to return. Unbelievable. Who are these people, and are they actually aliens?

Thankfully, I always enjoy a warm bag of popcorn regardless of my surroundings, and the credits eventually rolled. Hooray!

Comments

[jeramy]

I hate when people talk in movies. It's really annoying! Just throw a punch next time.

[B]

... Yeah I think I'll pass on this movie. I could tell from the trailer that it was going to suck!

[Tim]

When I initially heard about the movie, many years ago, I thought it had a chance to be REALLY good. After all Paul Schrader has a good deal of experience of bringing complex characters and scaring you with your mind while the director that Warner Brothers hired to reshoot the entire movie is more of an in your face, campy kind of action/horror director. Very different styles. There is a chance the Paul Schrader's version will get released to DVD, so here is to hoping that doesn't suck as bad as what Warner Bros. stuck in the theaters.

[Bre]

I knew I liked you for a reason.

[Tim]

Good choice listing MCIS as your fav album of 95. They are the best band of the 90's! My #1 fav!

[jason]

I wasn't going to see it anyways, but sometime down the road when I see this on TV or contemplate renting the movie I will definatly pass. Thx. Anyone see Open Water yet? That looked like a stinker, but it has been getting good reviews.

[Sam]

It was a fair movie -- hehe, I downloaded it via Bittorent :P. But you shouldn't hate it just because of a few idiots in the audience.

[sarah]

Oh no trust me, it was a crappy movie regardless of the audience!
:)
s

[SuperAfroBoy]

Yes, yes they are aliens.

[ZeeB0]

uggh Theaters suck..that's why it's either On Demand or DVD's for me

[eagle 1]

are any of you having troble getting onto kevin's site?

[JR]

I think I am going to go see that movie "Hero". It looks like a decent movie. :)

[h0ju]

oh man, when i went to see that movie with a friend, there was some lady who had a conversation for about 2 minutes on her cell phone, the whole theatre was shushing her. Then there were of course little 14 year old girls giggling and talking in the row behind us. this is like the 4th or 5th movie this has happened to us in, i hate girls now

[HIGHWAY]

I really hate today's audience who have no movie theatre ethics ... spoiled with watching movies on DVDs at home where individuals can heckle and talk out loud -- I find it VERY annoying when people start to talk during the movie.

[G4Shuin]

Heh, you know? Right after I watched the original I just thought "Damn, that deserves a sequel, then another sequel, then a prequel!! Maybe then a remake!"

Seriously, that movie sucked so much. It was like them trying to recreate their favorite scenes from the original and adding some other story to it. wonderful, a chick in a bath towel, that's sure to win us over *rolls eyes*

Seriously, what are movie directors thinking these days. Go back to making crappy teen killer flicks and leave the pyschological horror to the big boys and girls since you obviously can't handle it.

[James]

The CHINESE THEATER on Hollywood Blvd is usually a great place to see movies (the huge main screen). Not surprisingly, many in the audience have ties to the movie industry and are usually very respectful of the movie-going experience, especially on opening weekends...give it a try.

[Sam]

Well if my response is going to warrant a reply from Sarah then I must say, to each their own! No it wasn't a great work of cinema by any stretch it also wasn't Glitter. But I shall defer to Sarah in theatre matters, but watch out when it comes to theatre ;-)!

[Sam]

Oh lord I can't type...Let me rephrase. But I shall defer to Sarah in movie matters, but watch out when it comes to theatre ;-)!

[PorkEverlasting]

Yeah, I heard that this movie was a stinker. I think I'm gonna stay away from it. I did go see Aliens vs. Predator the other evening, and I must say, for a summer action movie, it was pretty kickass. I'd suggest spending some money to see it while it is still on the big screen, because the effects and the sound wouldn't be done as much justice on the small screen. Oh yeah, I saw on the SarahCam you're listening to AFI. HELL YEAH! :)

[vakky]

Ahh finally, Sarah, some ripping! Sweet vindication. Yeah, the preview for this movie was... not very inspiring, so I never thought twice (or once, for that matter) about seeing the movie. But I first saw the Exorcist when I was 17 so it probably didn't mean as much to me. If (and that's a miniscule if) nothing else, at least its previews had the "Tubular Bells" thing goin' on.

But I think I've been lucky enough to have experienced the "inconsiderate audience" routine only a few times. First time I saw Spidey 2 there was a guy talking on his cell. What was really irksome about that was he was sitting alone in one of the "sideline" rows where he could've easily walked out without obstructing anyone's view or stepping on toes.

And early this year some couple was letting their kid run all around the theatre, for like a friggin hour. Probably wouldn't have noticed if someone had nabbed the kid. That one was certainly annoying, but far more galling.

The one I'll always remember, though, was at the special sneak preview of Batman Forever. I believe it was right near the beginning when the helicopter crashes into the Statue of Liberty. Some drunk guy in the row behind us yells "GO BATMAN!!" I think aside from the soundtrack, that guy may have been the most noteworthy part of that evening.

p.s. "Celluloid Pain" would've been more succinct. You can have that one for next time ;)

[vakky]

Yeowch, that was a bit long-winded. Sorry 'bout that.

[Kevin Rose]

Those freakin wolf dogs scared me... no joke. My ice cream was also very good.

[Eric]

I thought the movie was pretty good. Its definatly a movie to take your Girlfriend to. It will have her clining to you like white on rice. I have to admit that i have never seen the first one. I dont really plan on it either. Horror movies just arent my thing. The only reason i saw this movie was beccause i was kinda forced in to it. Over all i have to disagree with Sarah. It was a good movie. It did have its moment of stupidity. As for the gratuitous violence. What gratuitous violence? She didnt give examples. If she reads this i would like to know what she considers "gratuitous violence".

[Eric]

She listens to AFI. Thats awesome!!!! I hope its 'The Art of drowning' That is thier best Album.

[Anthony]

Well look at it this way, you will have a whole new chance to watch the movie. A complete movie directed by Paul Schrader was submitted to the movie studios who rejected it, and gave Renny Harlin (Yes the same guy who directed the god awful Cutthroat Island.) the helm. Anyways Morgan Creek Productions has plans to release the Paul Schrader version on DVD.

[EssDeaSea]

Well .. ya know what I always do when I take my girl to a movie that ends up suckin' ..... popcorn trick!!1!!11!!one!

[Man]

As a New Yorker the proper thing to do at bad movie with noisy people is to make a scene, beat the talker with what every your eating and try to put the fear of gun violence to your target, Works for my girl when we are at the movies or concerts or on long lines, basically she's violent and it suits her.

[LoKa]

I hate all the rude people in theaters too! ARGH. The worst one to date was the time I was at Mann's Chinese theater on Hollywood and the lady behind me we translating to Spanish for her friend throughout THE WHOLE MOVIE.

[The_Tri_Tipper]

On a side note, everybody in here needs to see Amelie. I watched this movie in a film class, and it is definitely one of the best lesser known films in the US.

[Hyper Smiley]

Thanks for the heads up! It's a shame that a classic would be degraded for profit like that. It's sad that many rely only on the special effects, violence, and chessy sex scenes. Oh well! I'm hoping you do a review of Quentin Tarantino's Hero. The previews really caught my eyes. If you haven't seen "Four Rooms" by him, then you've gotta rent it. It's friggin' hilarious.

[The_Tri_Tipper]

Speaking of Quentin Tarantino: http://qtdiary.blogspot.com/

[Chad]

That's funny you mention the talking people in the theater.

Sunday me and a friend went to catch Alien vs Predator and during the first half hour these drunks kept yacking their mouths off, getting up, sitting down, and they were in the front row! As one stood up, I yelled down "Siddown!" "What?"

It's funny seeing him trying to find me, in total darkness no less.

Well they were booted out by an usher, and we were free to watch the rest of it in silence.

Love your site, sarah, it kicks ass!

[digitaldd]

Only interesting thing about Exorcist: The Beggining was the fact that if you never read the book now at least you have an idea about what all those weird phallic statues in the original movie were about..

[Hunter]

For some odd, very odd, reason, I absolutely loved this film! I'd have to say it's one of my favorite films. However, but please don't hate me 'cause I respect everyone's point of view. I too thought it had characteristics like The Mummy, which was one of my favorite movies of all time as well... that meets the Ninth Gate, another one of my favorites, but I think the reason I like the movie so much was because of my expectations; I didn't have any. I didn't know there was another one coming out and I had never seen a trailer when someone asked me to go with them. I saw the first one, and thought it more humorous than scary, so after the few scenes, I was completely just blown away at how different it was and just how great it was. The original reminds me of phone booth, in that it was mostly shot from one place. Although I wish the movie hadn't been a prequel, 'cause then the actual possession would not have been so humorous. I also have a liking for all things Satanic, so that might have been another reason I liked it, but I am in now way Satanic... I just find it interesting!

[Rich]

The Free iPod thing is totally legit! A friend of mine just got his in the mail yesterday! It's so easy!

All you have to do is sign up for an offer, and cancel it the next day after you get credit. Choose AOL, Infone, Netscape, or Ancestry.com - they are all very fast to give credit.

http://snipurl.com/8q12

[vakky]

FYI, Smiley, Quentin Tarantino had nothing to do with "Hero." He just paid to bring it to the U.S.

[Axl Rose]

Guns N' Roses rule

[Rich]

I just found this awesome site that totally gives you the low-down on all this Gratis Free Ipod/Flatscreen/PC stuff. They also have a really cool conga line that actually tells you what place you are in. Click below to check it out.

http://snipurl.com/8ts9

[legbur]

I manage a movie theatre. You think it annoys you? I spend half my day asking people to take their crying babies, cell phones, palm pilots, game boys, fist fights, makeout sessions, alcohol, fireworks, and any other god forsaken nuisances out to the lobby.
And for the record, I sat all the way through "Good Boy" but walked out of Exorcist. Talk about a waste of film. Open water I liked though. I came out of that feeling tense and that's what they wanted. I also have people come out into the hall that get sea sick. That's immersion in the movie.

[Matt]

I dont think i'll see any of the four i saw a trailer for the original and couldnt sleap. I'll stick with the parodies.

[Tim]

I was arrested at the theater for getting in a fight with a guy for talking through the movie. He kept repeating every word the characters would say. I told him to shut up twice but he ignored me so finally I snapped. Normally I would have been a bit nicer but it was Lord of the Rings return of the king and I was having a bad day. Now Im banned from the theater for a year.

[3rik]

ya i told a woman to shut the hell up cause she thought just because she was at the back it was ok to talk on her cell phone. Her bf tried to get all tough guy on me so i just threw my soda at him and they walked out, lucky the movie had ended soon and i walked out the theater without being arrested or whatever.